Home but not Alone
Updated: Apr 22
"Spending my time, watching the days go by, feeling so small, I stare at the wall......" Ah for all those long lost Roxette fans out there this was me last week. My introvert side was wondering how on earth she was going to survive entertaining two kids whilst my perfectly organised (ish) work space had been taken over by what now was a "work at home" husband.
The first week had been ok, I drew up a master timetable, the online food shop had just arrived and I had great plans to decorate the hallway. I'd downloaded activities and planned craft time. The family knew what they were doing from the moment they woke up until bedtime and yes, smug I was but ooooh my days had I got it wrong. For those of you with kids young enough not to know the Easter Holidays were looming I pray to God you carried on with some sort of schedule.
I lost all sense of night and day, emergency tactics were put into place (downloading the Disney channel being the main one!) and as my smugness faded away into despair I realised I didn't "have this" I wasn't "winning" and life as I knew it was over.
The only saving grace was the weather, the sun shone for days and even though I had to keep shaking off the feeling of guilt that the kids were once again spending another day behind screens I could be outside. I owned the little wins like hanging the washing out on the line, planting up some herbs and even making a cup of tea. Celebrating the things that were possible turned to gratitude, and gratitude finally turned to joy. Eating meals as a family, having long conversations with people I'd not managed to catch up with in years - all the things that I didn't realise had been put to the bottom of the ever growing list.
This week has been better. The kids are actually choosing to spend their time away from the screens, they want to do things rather than watch things and we all seem to have settled into this new life at home. Joe Wicks (AKA Saint Joe in this house) has given us a reason to get up in the morning, even if my thighs feel like metal rods, I know if I can get through half an hour of jumping around like a frog I'll be better set to deal with the day. I have got used to the fact that what are normally quick tasks can take all day to complete and find small bitesized jobs to do rather than things that need my full attention. Like all big changes it takes us humans a bit of time to adjust.
I read somewhere the other day that this is not a sprint, it's a marathon and how true that is. Living in a fast moving world, we're not used to pacing ourselves but this is exactly what we need to do. As working from home becomes the norm for a lot of us we'll need more willpower to turn off our computers, to not answer emails, and separate our home life with our work life- now more than ever. We won't have the journey home to unwind or that drink in the pub to relax after work and all these things need to be recognised. Not as a loss but as a gap that we can either fill with other activities, finding new ways to relax and unwind.
Yes I probably have a G&T a little earlier than usual these days and yes anxiety can rear it's ugly head at any time but the Courtney house is muddling through the best we can and I genuinely feel if we can get through this, we'll come out the other side healthier and happier than when we started.
Stay home, stay safe and we will meet again!